Living with an 85 year Old
So, my husband and I have entered a new phase in our lives...a slight caretaker role in inviting my mother to move in with us.
(picture taken in 2004)
I'm sure many readers out there have been, or are in similar situations. In the 3-4 weeks since she's moved in, we've slowly been getting her unpacked and settled, arranged and satisfied. She says she loves her home -- which is Step 1 I think. Although we didn't REALLY give her a choice in whether or not she should make the move, we did want her to be happy.
Step 2 is looking forward to her birthday party. (The photo above is from MY 50th birthday!) This is an opportunity for her to let her sphere see and know where she's living, share some stories, and hopefully add to her pride of ownership. We're lucky enough to be providing her with some killer views of the Tucson valley through large picture windows in her home.
Down the road, a phrase we've begun using an awful lot, are discussions about finances, sharing in any bills, vacations, trips, company, etc. We want her to have autonomy, and yet we also know she is living in our home as well, and wants to contribute.
Yesterday as Rocco and I were planning on driving up to see our newest grand-daughter in Phoenix, it belatedly occurred to me that maybe Great-Grandma would like to come, too. (She did) Thank goodness I remembered to invite her. (I'm learning, I'm learning)
(Nice plug for Long Realty, right????)
For those of you in a care-giving, home-sharing situation yourselves, what's the best advice you can offer to help make this a lovely period in life for my mother? What have you learned that helps appreciate an elderly person's need for independence and yet inclusion, privacy, and yet...proximity. Many thanks for your shared comments.
If I can assist you in your home buying or selling in Marana, Tucson, Oro Valley, or Vail, please don't hesitate to call me! Email at swdeserthomes@aol.com
Cara Marcelle Mancuso, Long Realty,
520-909-2988
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